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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Count Chocula Eats!

Count Chocula eats Ezekiel Elliott for breakfast! There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say. Seriously though. I didn’t think I’d say it because in my wildest dreams I didn’t think I’d slay a team...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: There Will Be No Blood

Count Chocula choked on a clove of garlic in Week 2 while watching a sunrise and getting a wooden stake in the shape of a cross rammed through his cereal-loving heart. After a shocking Week 1 win that...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Goff It Feels Good To Be A Vampire

Let me tell you a story about how I may have prevented Count Chocula from going on a feeding frenzy. Last week I ran through a litany of mistakes that cost me from potentially starting 2-0. Even more...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Let the Feeding Frenzy Begin

Nothing else matters. That’s the feeling I had all last Sunday watching my teams. In six different leagues I lost because I played either the highest or second highest scoring team when I was the third...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: The Hunt Continues

Last week Count Chocula was beaten soundly by a team reluctant to part with Todd Gurley. I have two thoughts on the loss. 1. Silver lining is it keeps the chase alive. With Gurley, winning the title...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Count Chocula Beats Himself

Last week I took a hard beat because I didn’t go Beathard. That’s the abbreviated and more colorful way of saying I blew two very on-the-fence decisions that gave me a bad beat in a game that could...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Adams Family

Last week I tried relentlessly to trade for Saquon Barkley. This week I’m just going to claim as my next meal. After Mitchell Trubisky, Tarik Cohen and the Colts’ Defense carried me to the third...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: Barkley Equals Big Trouble

When the one o’clock games ended last Sunday and James Conner had outscored Saquon Barkley and Travis Kelce by himself, there was just one thought going through my mind: “Now you’re all in big, big...

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The Vampire (Football) Diaries: The End Is Near

With barely an hour to the Sunday kickoffs, we’re going stream of consciousness style with this edition of The Vampire (Football) Diaries. Considering my Count Chocula squad has taken over the league...

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Vegas, Vampires & Confessions (plus fantasy football)

For any notes about Week 1, skip to the end. For any questions — lineup, add/drop, trade, etc. — reach me on Twitter @Hoover_L_A For the real reason I posted this, read on. It’s only fitting that my...

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